Things that happen are not in our control, but our attitude always is in our control.
Dad Clark went to live with the Lord this last Tuesday, June 8th, at 5:20 in the morning. Time since then has both dragged and stalled, if that makes any sense at all.
It seems like yesterday, I was watching him talk to Momma. He looked at her, and said, "It's been a good life, right Bridgie?" (See, Dad always called Mom "Bridgette", even though her real name was Dolores, because he said she was prettier than Bridgette Bordeaux, a pin-up girl of their generation). Mom got all choked up and said, "Yup, it's been pretty good." He says, "We haven't been too rich, but it was a good life." She says, "It was a great life!" I saw tears in his eyes. This man who never even said "I love you." This man who for all the time I have known him, has told me 4-5 times that he loved me... two of those were this last week or so. This man who shocked his son into realizing how close to death he was by saying "I love you."
He was an amazing man. Watching my husband grieve for his dad has wrenched my heart in half. Trying to be there if he needs me, but stay out of his way when he doesn't ... this has been my hardest challenge. It has been hard to stay close without smothering him. To give him his space while letting him know I was there if he needed.
Among all this happening, our dryer has also gone out. It has been a good dryer, given to us 9 years ago for our wedding. So, since we have no extra money for a dryer right now, and since we have other things that need the money we do have, I went out and invested $25 into a clothesline. I just had to buy the eye screws and the rope and clothespins, since God made our trees close enough together that we can string lines between them.
And my attitude? I think God has given me more grace over the last two weeks than I have had in all my life before. My theme verse has to be either, "My grace is sufficient for thee" from I Corinthians 12, or "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him" from Psalm 37. God has worked so much out, and I'm resting. Not just about this, but about so much more. It has been an amazing thing to watch God do the work while I am waiting.
God has been good, life has been bittersweet, and the future is as promising as my attitude of the moment. Praying, and waiting, and hoping and watching, and longing for what God has in store. Ready to look at the future and see it now.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lessons Learned from taking it easy
So, I hurt my back on Tuesday of last week, and haven't really been myself ever since. I have learned a few lessons in life since then.
1. People will get along just fine without you there.
2. The house may not be clean, but every little boy can find food for themselves.
3. Husbands are very inventive with food when their wives are sick. They will eat their "comfort foods" (in our case, pizza) every other day, whether you like it or not.
4. The laundry will get washed, maybe even folded, but it will be sitting in the living room waiting for you when you're better.
5. The way you feel worries your husband senseless and adds to his burden.
6. Trying to be less of a burden makes your husband frustrated, because he doesn't feel like he is taking good enough care of you.
7. Keeping up with the house is not going to happen, but it gives extra time to spend with the ones who matter most.
1. People will get along just fine without you there.
2. The house may not be clean, but every little boy can find food for themselves.
3. Husbands are very inventive with food when their wives are sick. They will eat their "comfort foods" (in our case, pizza) every other day, whether you like it or not.
4. The laundry will get washed, maybe even folded, but it will be sitting in the living room waiting for you when you're better.
5. The way you feel worries your husband senseless and adds to his burden.
6. Trying to be less of a burden makes your husband frustrated, because he doesn't feel like he is taking good enough care of you.
7. Keeping up with the house is not going to happen, but it gives extra time to spend with the ones who matter most.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Laundry
Does anyone else hate this invention????
I hate laundry. I hate washing a load each day, I hate having so much to fold and put away. I hate that it is never done. I hate that as soon as it is done, there is more to do. Oh, and did I mention that I hated it??
However, as much as I hate it, I am thankful for the opportunity to live in America, with the opportunity to have as many different articles of clothing as I have. I'm thankful to have the three little men God gave me to raise for Him. I'm thankful for the wonderful husband that God has given me as well. If that means a little extra laundry, well then, bring it on. I'll turn on Pride and Prejudice and fold away.... Now if only my back felt better. Guess that gives me the excuse I need to take breaks here and there. :)
I hate laundry. I hate washing a load each day, I hate having so much to fold and put away. I hate that it is never done. I hate that as soon as it is done, there is more to do. Oh, and did I mention that I hated it??
However, as much as I hate it, I am thankful for the opportunity to live in America, with the opportunity to have as many different articles of clothing as I have. I'm thankful to have the three little men God gave me to raise for Him. I'm thankful for the wonderful husband that God has given me as well. If that means a little extra laundry, well then, bring it on. I'll turn on Pride and Prejudice and fold away.... Now if only my back felt better. Guess that gives me the excuse I need to take breaks here and there. :)
Thursday, May 27, 2010
So I'm Thinking....
I'm thinking of using my creative genes and writing a story.
Not just any romance story. I'm so sick of reading everyone's stories of how people meet and fall in love. That's the easiest part of any relationship. The spring is an easy time to have a garden. The hard part is keeping it going into the summer, and even harder to keep it all the way into the fall and winter. The same with marriage. It's not hard to fall in love with someone. The hard part is keeping that love alive.
So, I'm thinking of writing a book, with the stories of 5 or 6 different women, and the difficulties they face as they work to STAY in love with their men. It seems that people learn things better through illustration. Even Jesus used parables (stories) to teach truths to people.
I don't know if I'll follow through, or if I'll just write a little here and there when I'm frustrated, but I am planning to write a really neat, interwoven book. I have already determined that I can devote 30 minutes each day to doing something. If it works out that I have longer, then that's fine, but at least 30 minutes each day.
We'll see how this goes.
Not just any romance story. I'm so sick of reading everyone's stories of how people meet and fall in love. That's the easiest part of any relationship. The spring is an easy time to have a garden. The hard part is keeping it going into the summer, and even harder to keep it all the way into the fall and winter. The same with marriage. It's not hard to fall in love with someone. The hard part is keeping that love alive.
So, I'm thinking of writing a book, with the stories of 5 or 6 different women, and the difficulties they face as they work to STAY in love with their men. It seems that people learn things better through illustration. Even Jesus used parables (stories) to teach truths to people.
I don't know if I'll follow through, or if I'll just write a little here and there when I'm frustrated, but I am planning to write a really neat, interwoven book. I have already determined that I can devote 30 minutes each day to doing something. If it works out that I have longer, then that's fine, but at least 30 minutes each day.
We'll see how this goes.
I hold onto the Light
Darkness holds no power when I hold on to the Light. How can I help but
worship Him when I discover that immense truth?
I was reading on a different blog today, and she passed along a devotional that she had read. It was just what I needed to hear today. Here I am, stuck in bed, can't go very far, or help to serve my family. I hurt my back two days ago... I was trying to catch a clock that was falling from the wall.... Not just any clock.... THE clock... The clock that Doug's dad received on his retirement from GM... THE clock that is Doug's inheritance. I didn't catch it, the glass cover for the clock broke, and I was left with a broken clock and a twisted back from trying to do something nice for my husband.
Needless to say, I was ready to throw a pity party for all of the last two days. Then, today, actually tonight, when I'm supposed to be sleeping, I find this devotional. She used Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. She went on to talk about when you don't feel like worshiping God. She shared a story about a time when her son was in the hospital, and things were crashing down around her... no insurance, little hope, and the drunk driver at fault was dead. She had nothing to thank God for, but she found it in the midst of her trouble. She presented herself to God in spite of the fact she would rather have blamed him. She was able to thank Him that He was still in control. She then made the statement that I started with: "Darkness holds no power while I hold onto the Light."
From that, I draw strength. My world may feel lost and confused, but He is the Light, and I can depend on His guidance through the frustrating and confusing times I have to face!!!
I was reading on a different blog today, and she passed along a devotional that she had read. It was just what I needed to hear today. Here I am, stuck in bed, can't go very far, or help to serve my family. I hurt my back two days ago... I was trying to catch a clock that was falling from the wall.... Not just any clock.... THE clock... The clock that Doug's dad received on his retirement from GM... THE clock that is Doug's inheritance. I didn't catch it, the glass cover for the clock broke, and I was left with a broken clock and a twisted back from trying to do something nice for my husband.
Needless to say, I was ready to throw a pity party for all of the last two days. Then, today, actually tonight, when I'm supposed to be sleeping, I find this devotional. She used Romans 12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. She went on to talk about when you don't feel like worshiping God. She shared a story about a time when her son was in the hospital, and things were crashing down around her... no insurance, little hope, and the drunk driver at fault was dead. She had nothing to thank God for, but she found it in the midst of her trouble. She presented herself to God in spite of the fact she would rather have blamed him. She was able to thank Him that He was still in control. She then made the statement that I started with: "Darkness holds no power while I hold onto the Light."
From that, I draw strength. My world may feel lost and confused, but He is the Light, and I can depend on His guidance through the frustrating and confusing times I have to face!!!
Friday, May 21, 2010
An Expected End
Never before have the words "an expected end" brought such comfort.
One of my absolute favorite Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11, which says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to bring you to an expected end."
There have been many times throughout my life, since I found that verse in college, that it has brought me comfort. When I was unmarried and waiting for a spouse, it was comforting to know that God had a man all picked out, and was directing our ways toward one another step by step. Then, after I was married, and no longer wanting to teach, it was comforting to know that God had a plan through the chaos of teaching. Then as I REALY wanted to have a baby, it was comforting to know that God had events lined up to give me the perfect children at the perfect time. (well, maybe they're not PERFECT, but perfect for us). As I've taught and trained our sons, it's been comforting to know that God has a path all laid out for their lives, and that He knows every pitfall they will face along the way.
Yet, as I sit today, and mull over the events of the past two weeks, that verse has been a comfort as much through these weeks as it has in my entire past put together. Doug had lost his job officially a couple of months ago. Then he lost his second job. The money we're living on is slowly dwindling, and soon it will be time for him to work again. The business we are building is not going as quickly as we would like. BUT, just yesterday, we found out that Doug's dad has- on the outside- a year to live. Doug only has a short while left with his Daddy, and I am SO thankful for all the time he has been able to spend with him in the last six months. Looking back, I can see God has had it planned since the beginning of time that this is the way it would be. I am so very thankful that Doug has been able to spend so much of his dad's last days with him. As hard as the knowing that the end is near.... the comfort of knowing Doug has something special to remember is so much better.
Soon, it will be time to build a business and work like crazy. Now, it is time to rest in God's care, knowing that HE has "an expected end" planned out for us.
One of my absolute favorite Bible verses is Jeremiah 29:11, which says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to bring you to an expected end."
There have been many times throughout my life, since I found that verse in college, that it has brought me comfort. When I was unmarried and waiting for a spouse, it was comforting to know that God had a man all picked out, and was directing our ways toward one another step by step. Then, after I was married, and no longer wanting to teach, it was comforting to know that God had a plan through the chaos of teaching. Then as I REALY wanted to have a baby, it was comforting to know that God had events lined up to give me the perfect children at the perfect time. (well, maybe they're not PERFECT, but perfect for us). As I've taught and trained our sons, it's been comforting to know that God has a path all laid out for their lives, and that He knows every pitfall they will face along the way.
Yet, as I sit today, and mull over the events of the past two weeks, that verse has been a comfort as much through these weeks as it has in my entire past put together. Doug had lost his job officially a couple of months ago. Then he lost his second job. The money we're living on is slowly dwindling, and soon it will be time for him to work again. The business we are building is not going as quickly as we would like. BUT, just yesterday, we found out that Doug's dad has- on the outside- a year to live. Doug only has a short while left with his Daddy, and I am SO thankful for all the time he has been able to spend with him in the last six months. Looking back, I can see God has had it planned since the beginning of time that this is the way it would be. I am so very thankful that Doug has been able to spend so much of his dad's last days with him. As hard as the knowing that the end is near.... the comfort of knowing Doug has something special to remember is so much better.
Soon, it will be time to build a business and work like crazy. Now, it is time to rest in God's care, knowing that HE has "an expected end" planned out for us.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Kids and Their Thought Process
So, I made some really good granola cereal yesterday! It turned out very nicely, and there was enough for everyone for breakfast with 4 large jars left over.
Well, now for the kid thing. We're eating granola that I made, with milk, and Nate-Nate pipes up, "Momma, when I grow up, I want you to teach my wife how to make this." I say OK, 'cause I'm feeling good about this, when he says, "Cause my kids need to grow up strong and healthy, and my wife needs it, but I'm not gonna eat it, cause I don't like it."
Yeah, look at you laughing!! Now try to imagine keeping a straight face and rebuking said son about thankfulness. See how hard my job is??? But I do get the grand opportunity to tell you about it and sit here smiling since he can't read it and know how funny it was.
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